I have been incredibly blessed by changing my semi-typical diet to a healthier, more nourishing meal plan. I love how it helps me feel energized from deep down, feel nourished, and helps me avoid problematic intolerances that were troubling my digestion.
I think that there is a lot of research (let alone the countless anecdotal stories out there) that back up the claim that what we eat makes a difference. And it is because I believe that, and because I find this way of eating so helpful to me and my family, and because I simply find it a delightful way to eat, I not only keep forging ahead in keeping my diet nourishing, but also am glad to share what I learn with others.
But sometimes that ideal of a perfectly nourishing diet meets reality and ideals can come tumbling down.
Here are a few realities that are common ones:
- Limited budget
- Limited time
- Limited energy
- Limited resources
- Illnesses or deaths in the family
- Morning sickness
- Work crisis
- Loss of job
- And many more
Helping make real food work for real people in real life is an important goal of this blog. I love to talk about how to make a healthy diet a practical reality for people. But I am sure that many of you have also gone through seasons where you were just trying to survive – and a diet that helped you thrive was simply not possible.
I know. I’ve been there.
For example, four years ago I had terrible morning sickness and that greatly affected not only what I could eat, but also how much cooking I could do for my family. We simply did what we could. My husband taught himself how to make some of my quick recipes. I ate a lot of organic cheese and whatever else I could tolerate, and we survived.
When we had the death of a close family member in our family, spending a lot of time in the kitchen simply wasn’t a priority. We relied on simple food at home, and also learned where in our city we could find frugal and healthy food when we needed to get a meal out.
Our diet has gone through stages of being almost religiously clean, to a mix-up of healthier prepared food, restaurant-fare and only the simplest food at home.
If you are in that “reality smashing ideals” stage right now, I want you to know that I’ve been there. It’s okay. Here are two thoughts I tell myself during that stage.
This is a season and it doesn’t have to last forever. Morning sickness feels like ten years, but it did pass, and I did fall in love with cooking nourishing food again. Many of our trials and realities will change in time. Look for that light at the end of the tunnel whenever you can.
I can only do my best. Yes, in an ideal world I would always be perfect in every way, including how I feed my family. In fact, in an ideal world, I would always have enough money to buy the best of the best, there wouldn’t be toxins around us, and my energy would soar and my time would always be well managed.
Since I don’t live in an ideal or perfect world, I find peace in knowing that I have limits, and I simply need to do the best that I can within those limits.
Yes, working towards an ideal diet is…ideal. But giving yourself a lot of grace on the road to your ideal, and giving yourself flexibility during times of stress is needed.
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Yep, exactly – sometimes we can make a religion out of our idealistic convictions – but in the end, you just do your best as you have the energy to! 🙂 Thanks for this!
This is such a lovely, and such a truthful post. Thank you for sharing this. I have been in the same boat as you, and budget has had a great deal to do with mine. For instance, I’m not able to buy all organic and have to pick and choose what healthy foods I eat over having the best of every kind of food out there. I’m glad your morning sickness is over! 🙂
Thanks, Heather! Yes, even almost four years later, I am STILL super grateful not to feel sick 24/7. 🙂
I appreciate this post so much! Sometimes, I can feel like such a failure when I compromise on our diet. Thank you! ~Sharon
So glad it was helpful, Sharon!
AMEN!!!
Kimi, my season (which does seem to last forever!) involves caring for my toddler while also dealing with my own fatigue (in addition to the variety that comes with caring for a toddler!). I often carry around that guilt of wishing I were doing more right – wishing I were choosing some good recipes for fermented foods and actually making them, wishing I were making and consuming broth in general and specifically making beef broth since I only ever seem to make chicken broth, wishing I were more sure that we were getting all the nutrients we “should” be getting and that our meals are balanced and that my toddler is getting all the proper nutrients – the “shoulds” are many, aren’t they?! So I definitely do need to embrace grace and do the best I can with the energy I have and give thanks for a supportive husband, and these are things I’ve been learning. But I’m also wondering if you can address what you think are the most important things to focus on when we do have limitations and want to do the best we can. I suppose those things could be different for everyone, depending on their health goals, resources, etc. I think, for me, a basic rule of thumb is to try to consume real food, even if that is in a much simpler form than the elaborate meals we wish we were creating (and that we assume everyone else is creating!). But beyond that, are there any key goals we can aim for? Or just try to keep it real and simple? On the simplicity front, I’m finding I have to let go of some of my ideas of how things should be and embrace that there is some chaos around here. So those muffins that I thought I needed to make in time for dinner just aren’t going to happen, and in fact they might not happen for another few days. Instead of having muffins with dinner and for breakfast, maybe our simple dinner (minus muffins) will be good enough, and we’ll find something for breakfast and cut ourselves some slack because we’re doing what we can. 🙂
That’s a really great question…I will think about it before answering. 🙂 (And don’t feel guilty about just doing chicken stock! It’s GREAT that you are making that. I didn’t start making beef stock for a looooong time when I started eating nourishing food.)
That is so true in my life right now. In fact I wrote about it on my blog a couple of weeks ago.
Things are improving but it was because I accepted and adapted instead of trying to force it. And I let go of a lot of the ‘shoulds’ and the guilt that were dragging me down.
Love this! Thank you for sharing this perspective. It’s amazing how sometimes even when I KNOW it’s the best I can do, it still doesn’t feel like “enough.” How sad. I don’t think that’s how God wants me to live. Oh, and I hear you about morning sickness. Before we try for another baby, I’m stocking the freezer with freezer meals! They say you forget the difficulties of pregnancy, but there’s no way I can forget that nausea.
Alison, you said, “It’s amazing how sometimes even when I KNOW it’s the best I can do, it still doesn’t feel like “enough.” ” I relate, and I think that many of us do. The fact is, there is always SOMEthing more we could be doing, so finding peace in what we CAN do is key. Still working on it myself. 😉 Thanks so much for the comment!
Morning sickness DOES feel like 10 years! At least!
Kimi, Thank you for thist post. I really love your blog. The LOVE that you put into cooking for your family and into your blog really shows. Even though you don’t know me, I feel cared for when I read it.
Caring for a family, homeschooling, and being the full-time cook are too many jobs for one person. So many of us do it though. I am just realizing that something has to give! It was helpful to check in with your blog for your great recipe ideas and get, instead, a helping of grace. I am telling myself, you have to accept less than ideal sometimes. This is what God has been telling me too…. not perfection, but surrender. I can’t make an ideal world, I can only give what I have. Perfection belongs only to God. I am sorry for repeating what has already been said, but I really wanted to respond and tell you that I am grateful for your blog, and your post.
We LOVE your food too!
Molly,
I am thankful for your comment! I am so glad that it made you feel cared for, as that is exactly why I wrote it. We all need a big helping of grace in this imperfect world, so take a big heaping serving for yourself. 🙂 Thanks again!