A few months ago, I had a pregnancy loss that ended with me in the hospital for emergency surgery. While my body has largely recovered from this scary experience, my grief will linger for some time into the future.
It’s been a time when I needed to treat my body and my experience gently and with care, and needed to extend that to my little family as well.
One part of that experience has been cooking and serving food that would bring us comfort as much as give us sustenance.
Sometimes comfort food gets a bad rap. Maybe our imagination has been shaped by the common “break-up” scene in rom-coms where the anguished girl ends up stuffing her face with ice cream straight from an ice cream carton while surrounded by empty ice cream cartons, cookie packets, and candy wrappers.
We can also shy away from the idea of comfort food because we want to avoid the cycle of emotional eating, where we eat instead of dealing with our emotions in a healthy way.
But it’s never a good solution to avoid good gifts just because they can be misused. Sometimes, leaning into the right way to enjoy and appreciate food is the best way to avoid misusing it.
So, how do we eat when facing difficult times? This is how it’s looked for me.
When in shock or in recovery mode:
When life has brought you recent losses, a shocking disaster, when stress levels are especially high, or when you are recovering from surgery, illness, an accident, etc, people often find they need to eat lighter meals.
That was true for me in the early weeks after our loss and my surgery. I ate a lot of homemade chicken broth, soups, and fruit juice gelatin. I found that brown rice noodles were a gentle option as well. Once I was able to eat richer foods again, we enjoyed this Simple Thai broth often.
Many friends brought us beautiful meals that nourished my family, as well as myself, once I was able to start eating more normally again.
In the healing stage:
Once I was on my feet again, I found myself slowly finding joy in the kitchen again, cooking food for my kids, husband, and myself. I started with very simple meals, my energy taking some time to return. Simple rice bowls. Pasta dishes. Cooked vegetables because raw ones were harder on my tender stomach.
Then, I was able to start finding some fun in the kitchen again. I found that as my digestion recovered, I began to lean toward gently spiced curries, and began experimenting with new recipes. I have wondered if the anti-inflammatory properties of some of the spices were why my body craved them.
But mostly, I just looked to make food that would bring us pleasure and joy, and give us something to gather around.
Here are just a few examples from recent days:
I experimented with several new curried dishes and tandoori chicken, as well as learning some new sides.
We also pulled out old classics, including lettuce-wrapped hamburgers, air-fryer French fries, salmon, pasta, and hibiscus lemonade.
We’ve always envisioned Saturdays as a day of luxurious brunches at home, but that has not been the case. We did, however, manage it once these last few months, and it was glorious.
As my stomach healed, I was able to begin to enjoy fresh green salads again. I found that I was craving vegetables and proteins. Two examples included pan-fried steak with salad and avocado, and another with paleo mini meatloaves.
We also loved having a Greek-inspired dinner, as well as making Spring Rolls for dinner on a warm evening. (We used the dressing from this recipe as a dipping sauce.)
And last, but not least, my youngest requested a tea time lunch, so we whipped together gluten-free baked donuts and made a small spread with what we had. It’s inspired us to keep up the tradition.
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Amazing post Kimi and much needed. Deeply sorry for your loss and thankful for the wisdom and insight in taking it day by day
Thank you, Natalia!
Sorry for you loss and pain, Kimi. I’ve walked my darkest days in past few months, as well, losing 3 loved ones close to me. I’d appreciate the recipes for any of the meals. The Saturday brunch days sound relaxing and needed in a time like this. I’m going to implement that. Thanks for sharing.
Mariah, I am so sorry for your loss. How difficult to lose so many loved ones close together. *hugs* I will definitely share some of the above recipes in the days to come!
I stumbled upon your blog looking for an okra smoothie recipe since my doc recommended okra to stabilize blood sugar. Thank you for this blog. I have bummed out for so long about my limited diet. Your upbeat posts and recipes are exactly what I needed. I’m so sorry for your loss! Wishing your all the best. ❤️
I am so glad that you found yourself here, Emily, and thank you for the sweet note! It is appreciated!
So glad you’re back! Pictures are BEAUTIFUL as usual, and the food looks so yummy and amazingly healthy. Our daughters, who were so motivated and inspired by your blog years ago, have all married and moved away, so I’ve lost my accountability (and help!) to make our table lovely and nourishing. I’m left in survival mode with teen boys busy with homeschooling, hobbies, jobs, and sports. Real cooking has fallen by the wayside, but this post gives me hope that I CAN come back from hard circumstances and down times. (It’s complicated, but the short of it is that our sons are adopted from foster care and connection has been very difficult. Your father-in-law and Brett were great encouragements to us when things were really bad some years back.❤️)